Being a Muslim Wife, rights and duties

Society is always changing, and we recognise that people’s specific views can vary widely, both within the world of Islam, and for those who are not followers. Here are some thoughts around what it takes to be a good, righteous Muslim wife.

Start with this basic principle. Your partner is another Muslim. As a married Muslim couple, you must understand that primarily your rights and duties as Muslim’s is of primary concern. Treat each other with the respect that deserves as the main building block of your marriage.

It is reported that the Prophet, may peace be upon him, said:
“A woman is sought in marriage for four reasons; wealth, social status, beauty and deen (piety). So seek the one with deen - may you then be successful.”

The Prophet, may peace be upon him, also said: “The best property a man can have is a remembering tongue, (about Allah), a grateful heart and a believing wife who helps him in his faith.”

And once more: “The world, the whole of it, is a commodity and the best of the commodities of the world is a virtuous wife.”

So, let it be seen that a virtuous Muslim wife isn’t seen as just a part of a successful Islamic marriage, that aspect of her life is critical. It is something that we at Find Your Muslim Partner hold central to our process of helping people find their perfect Muslim marriage partner. If you’d like to discuss this further, please get in touch.

Common rights between a married couple.

These rights, which are equally applicable to the two spouses, includes:

• The right to inherit from each other.
• The right to enjoy each other.
• The right of confirmation of the lineage of their children.

The rights of the wife over the husband.

The dowry

The payment of the dowry to the wife is an obligation of the marriage. It is a debt upon the husband, and it cannot be avoided unless the wife chooses to willingly sacrifice it.

Maintenance and Residence

This can be seen as food, drink, clothing, general care and a suitable home.  The wife should be supported without extravagance, but also the support should not be lacking. This support should be provided according to the abilities of the husband, and the standards set by society at the time.

Kind and Proper Treatment

The Koran states (4:19) “Consort with your wives in a goodly manner for if you dislike them, it may well be that you dislike something which Allah makes a source of abundant good.”

What this means is wives should be spoken to kindly. It is, or at least, should be, reciprocal. Address your partner in the way you’d like to be spoken to. 

The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “The believers who have perfect faith are those with the best character, and the best of them re those who treat their women the best.”

“The best of you are the kindest towards their wives, and I am the kindest amongst you to my wives.”

Patience and Tolerance

Husbands must make allowances for the fact that women are different to men. We must acknowledge that none of us are free from fault. So when a husband is dealing with his wife, he must be patient and tolerant of her, as she must be of him.

The Prophet, peace be upon him, “A believer must not harbour any rancour against a woman who believes. If he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will certainly be pleased with another.”

Defence

Traditionally, when a woman is married, she becomes his ‘honour’ that he must defend with his life. Well, times have definitely moved on since then, but the idea of defending and protecting the honour of your wife still holds true.

Not being treated in a hostile or aggressive manner.

Islam has been very clear about how any possible marital problems can be solved.
Starting with the belief that constructive dialogue and thinking through problems in order for them to be corrected.
‘Aa’ishah - narrated “Allah’s messenger never hit anything with his hand ever, except when fighting in the path of Allah. Nor did he ever hit a servant or a woman.”

Teaching and Advice

This is a mutual right between husband and wife. Just as the husband should urge his family members to act correctly according to Islamic law, so the wife must help to guide her husband. Think in particular about how couples can work together to bring up their children correctly.

Honouring Conditions Specifically Made by the Wife

If, at the time of the signing of the marriage contract extra conditions have been stipulated by the wife, such as a condition around expenses or accommodation, those conditions need to be honoured too.

At Find Your Muslim Partner, we are here to help. As part of our service we offer a marriage hotline, in addition to having a term of experienced Muslim marriage experts who are here to help.